Question
What are some common misconceptions about trauma?
Answer
It is also essential to understand trauma misconceptions and biases because you may also have those. Remember, childhood trauma in adults doesn't necessarily mean they would be unable to build a fulfilled life. Many people have misconceptions when it comes to adults affected by childhood trauma. The first misconception is that an individual abused and/or neglected as a child will abuse and/or neglect their children. The second is that abused and neglected children will become deviant adults. The third misconception is that the effect of abuse and/or neglect are irreparable, and the adult won't live a full life of recovery. These are not true for everyone. Yes, some will fall into these situations, but most people do not, thus making these misconceptions.
I have a story I would like to share with you. I teach at Denver University and showed my students a clip of someone coming into therapy. This person was mandated to attend therapy because their child was removed due to physical abuse. Right off the bat, my students thought that this person was probably abused as a child, and they're doing the same thing to their child because that's all they know. I asked my students to let me know what they were thinking. They said they were angry and thinking about how this person had abused their child, and I now had to sit and provide trauma-informed therapy.
Then one of the students asked me, what do you think? I mentioned that when I first saw this video, her demeanor made it seem like she was extremely overwhelmed. She was combative, and she appeared to be stressed. The other thing I noticed is that she mentioned she didn't want her son to be like his father. I told my students that we need to look at things in a clinical sense and consider where this person is coming from. It doesn't matter if you're a clinician or an educator; think about where the person is coming from. After she said she didn't want her son to be like his father, I probed and asked her what she meant by that.
The other thing that I would look at is someone so afraid their child will turn out like their father, and they're trying their best to prevent that. Unfortunately, she does not have the proper tools to parent well. She uses physical punishment to keep her son from being like the father hopefully. This means what is going on with her isn't the first misconception that an individual who was abused and/or neglected will abuse and/or neglect their children. It's the fact that this person is so afraid.
Think about the why. Why is this person behaving this way? What is wrong with this mother? Why is she beating up her child? Think about why this person is doing that. In this situation, the answer is that she was so afraid that her son would go to jail. Later in the video, she mentioned that the father was in jail. She was so afraid of her son following in his footsteps. She didn't know any other way than to hit her child to prevent him from going down that path. After looking through the trauma-informed lens, the proper way to help this parent is to provide appropriate parenting techniques.
As a staff, we must recognize what's going on and not fall into these misconceptions, just like everyone else. We are not immune to these misconceptions and biases that are out there. Be aware of that and go a little bit deeper, not only to see what's on the surface but to find out the "why" behind what is happening. For example, when my students saw a little bit of the video clip, they saw that a person was beating her child and wondered what was wrong with her. We must dig deeper. That's something we can all do. You don't have to have a clinical background to be able to provide support and see where someone is coming from and what their fears are.
This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course, Collective Trauma and Building a Trauma-Informed Culture, presented by Nadia Tourinho, MSW, LICSW, LCSW-C.
