Question
What are cognitive readiness behaviors for potty training?
Answer
- Your child is curious about how his body works.
- Your child sees the connection between his body and the potty.
- Your child understands sequencing – before, during, and after.
- Your child lines up his toys – understands order – things in “right” places.
- Your child thinks ahead – he can stop doing something if he needs to potty.
- Your child comprehends that potty books and videos are relevant to his actions at this time.
- Your child understands the “big picture” – “so, this is how things work.”
- from The Potty Training Answer Book
We know that in development we have to experience things as objects before we experience them with their true purpose. Babies experience books to eat, to throw, and to stand on before they understand that books have a message and you turn pages. It’s the same thing with potties. That potty has to become my friend before I am ready to sit on it and do something appropriate. We will help him know that potty seats don’t go on his head. But in the beginning, before he's peeing in it, it's okay to not know that this has a specific use in the world.
I want children to be curious about how their body works because it's cognitive. With potty training, we have all these external behavioral things and expectations, but it's got to click in the brain, which is oh my body is making pee and poop. My body has muscles that close and open and relax and let it out. My body plays tricks on me. I need this brain connection to be there and that's why I love Everyone Poops as the first book that I will ever read to a child at 18 months or 20 months. Since it's not about an agenda, I always start with how children understand what pee and poop are all about. They will see the connection between their bodies and this potty.
I need them to understand the sequencing of before, during, and after because I have to know before it's coming, when it's coming, and what to do after and make choices along the way. I do believe that children who line up their toys are way more comfortable with the order, sequence and right place of going potty. They have this understanding of how everything goes in its place. That makes it a little easier. That's cognitive as well as emotional.
They have to be able to think ahead and stop doing something if they need to potty. They have to be able to realize - oh, I feel it coming. I have to interrupt what I’m doing. This is self-regulation at its best. I have to put this on hold while I go do something else. Then I have to understand time in order to understand I can return to that thing and trust that it'll still be there for me.
I have to understand that those potty books and videos are relevant to my actions. We know somewhere right before that second birthday, toddlers internalize the message of books, whether they are the No David books, How Dinosaurs Say Goodnight, How Dinosaurs Eat Their Food, or Everyone Poops. When I'm reading Everyone Poops to a table of nearly twos, I can see in their eyes if they're connecting with the message and if it's about them or if it's just another cute book I'm reading. I want them to make that connection because now I have the power to use books, stories, and games to support their learning. I need them to understand the big picture. This is not just a sometimes skill. Eventually, this is going to be how we say goodbye to diapers. I want them to be able to hold the thought that there’s a big expectation in the making here and I want to make sure that you’re up for it.
As I said before, it is this big puzzle. All the readiness factors don’t arrive on their own. Our role as parents and as teachers is to see where children are, see where the missing pieces are, and use our best practices to scaffold them forward into success and mastery.
This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course, Potty Training at School, by Karen Deerwester, MA, EdS.
