How Do I Understand My Biases and Change?

Question

Answer

• Reflect
• Acknowledge the bias
• Seek understanding
• Read, research, investigate
• Talk to people you trust
• Be genuinely curious

Everyone has biases and we have a variety of biases. I have my own biases that I have to work through. I see myself as a work in progress. I'm not perfect, so I need to understand them and make a change within myself about particular biases that I may have. For example, I may have a bias about teen parents. We often see children 14, 15, or 16 years old that are parents. Again, I'm talking for me, that's my bias. I think, don't they know any better? Didn't they seek help? Didn't they go to a clinic? How come they did not say no? I have my own biases about a young woman who is a mother at the age of 15. I have to reflect on where this bias is coming from. For some of you, your bias could be something else. For example, here's a Muslim, how do you feel about that Muslim? How do you feel about those two mothers? How do you feel about that older parent? How do you feel about grandparents that are taking care of their grandchildren because their parents are not available? You have to do your own reflection about what your biases are and where they come from.

Then, you have to acknowledge it. For me, I have to acknowledge, hey, Luis Hernandez, you have a particular bias about young mothers, especially teen moms. What is that about? Why do you feel that way? Then, how do you seek understanding? For me, I have to talk to people. I started talking to teachers and directors that work in centers for teen moms, which gave me a better understanding. I went to a group with young teen moms and they spoke about their lives. Then, I started talking to my colleagues who were once teen moms themselves, but got their stuff together and went back to school and finished college. I was seeking my own understanding of the dynamics of my bias. I read, I did research, and I investigated.

Part of my responsibility as a professional is to be generally curious. I have to be curious so that I can understand the world, but most importantly for me, to understand my own biases. Where's that bias coming from? Can I make a change? I can say that I made a change. I made a change because I had a deeper understanding of what my own previous bias about teen moms meant. That gave me a sense of more compassion and empathy for this group of young mothers.

This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course, Families As Partners - Making Family Engagement Truly Meaningful & Authentic, by Luis Hernandez.