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Where Does Shame Come From?

Shira Sameroff, MSW, LCSW

July 1, 2025

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Question

Where does shame come from?

Answer

Shame originates in early life experiences and is deeply rooted in both individual development and ancestral lineage. From birth, individuals are immersed in environments shaped by the unhealed emotional wounds of previous generations. These wounds, often unrecognized and unprocessed, are passed down through familial behaviors, beliefs, and emotional patterns.

Children, who are open and highly receptive, naturally absorb these messages without the context or support needed to understand or separate them from their own identities. As a result, much of the shame individuals carry originates not from their own actions but from inherited emotional burdens.

 

This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the course, "Unpacking, Transforming and Healing Shame: Theory and Practice for Mental Health Practitioners", presented by Shira Sameroff, MSW, LCSW.


shira sameroff

Shira Sameroff, MSW, LCSW

Shira Sameroff, LCSW, has decades of experience working with people of diverse identities, ages, and life stories in a wide array of settings. Her professional roles have included therapy, supervision, professional development, college teaching, coaching, community organizing, transformative decluttering, and a decade and a half on the leadership team of a community-based social work agency.

Shira weaves together a range of therapeutic healing modalities, including IFS, Hakomi, and other somatic, nature-based, and anti-oppressive practices. She offers professional development for individuals and organizations around themes including shame, group facilitation, supervision, giving and receiving feedback, empowering practice with youth, tending to self as a practitioner, and trauma-informed and oppression-informed therapy.

The heart of her work is helping humans reconnect with themselves, each other, and the natural world to enable deep individual and collective healing. Her approach is collaborative, intuitive, and full of heart and is rooted in her own lived experience of healing, learning, and emerging.


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