Question
What is domestic violence by proxy?
Answer
Domestic violence by proxy is typically when the abusive parent or abusive partner continues to abuse the partner through someone else. In these cases, the majority of the time, we actually see it through the children.
One of the reasons why parents are fearful and feel safer being with their abusive partner if they have children with them is because they are a buffer. They can keep their children safer for the most part if they are still living in that situation. Whereas if they are no longer living together and the children are going back and forth to the other parent’s homes, the children no longer have a buffer to protect them from that parent.
Not all abusive parents physically abuse their children, although the rates are significantly higher than that of the normal population. The use of neglect or abuse helps to maintain control over the target parent because they are fearful, so they will do anything to keep their children safe.
This Ask the Expert is an edited excerpt from the webinar, Post-Separation Abuse: Supporting Survivors After Escaping Domestic Violence, presented by Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS
